“You have the power to heal your life, and you need to know that. We think so often that we are helpless, but we’re not. We always have the power of our minds. Claim and consciously use your power.” ~ Louise Hay
We all have the ability and power to change the course of the direction our lives are going in at any given moment. It is that simple. It begins with the willingness to change our thoughts.
If we can turn our negative thoughts into positive ones, we can heal from past hurts, trauma and childhood wounds. We often get triggered by an event, an occurrence or someone else’s action that instantly evokes a response in us causing us discomfort, pain, hurt or sadness.
At that moment, we may not know why we are feeling these feelings. But, if we dig a little deeper and think about why that specific event triggered us, we can become aware of our emotions and responses, and then we can learn to understand our feelings better.
When we do gain the awareness of why we get triggered, we must simultaneously want to be in a place where we are willing to change our response.
We must want to embrace change and become better versions of ourselves. When we decide to do that, we can heal from the past. We heal through awareness and understanding of the root cause of our angst, and then by letting go and releasing the pain. It is in this moment of releasing, letting go, and surrendering that we truly grow.
When we do let go and surrender, we are trusting the process of life. We are saying to the Universe that we accept responsibility and we have honored our emotions, we have worked on healing from the past and we no longer want to be ruled by the things that happened to us.
We want to move forward. We want to see our value. We want to feel our worth and we want to be seen. And in doing so, we reclaim our power and heal our internal wounds.
We all have blocks or fears that prevent us from fully embracing all parts of ourselves. But when we allow the fears to rule us, we give it power over us, thus denying ourselves the right to happiness and fulfillment that we so rightly deserve.
When I was a young child and growing up through young adulthood, I always felt rejected by my father on an emotional level. I grew up feeling like I was a burden in my family.
I was raised by an emotionally unavailable father who was a great provider and gave our family financial stability, but never offered the emotional love, support or encouragement I needed and that all children need.
I know I am not alone in this story. Many of you may have had similar experiences where you had a father who was emotionally or physically absent, prompting your mother to be the primary emotional caregiver. And lucky for me, my mom was emotionally loving.
However, I was and still am very sensitive by nature and when we are wanting to be emotionally strong adults who have healthy mature relationships, going back to what caused you pain in childhood is an important step in healing yourself.
I am an emotional person and I have learned to embrace this part of me. But, I always felt unseen and dismissed, not recognized or valued for who I was, and that anything important to me wasn't relevant. There were many experiences where I just needed to know my dad loved me, but I never felt it. I know he did, but at the time, I felt hated, and as if everything I did wasted his money or time.
I was able to realize after much intense journaling that I used to feel and still do sometimes feel undeserving of money and romantic love. Money because my dad used to say things that made me feel that I was a burden on the family. And romantic love because I never felt love from my dad.
Realizing that being rejected from your father in childhood can leave you feeling insecure, full of self-doubt and angry. I learned so much about myself over time, and that all of my health ailments stemmed from childhood wounds. I had a lot of clearing and inner work to do.
And over the years, I did a great deal of work on my self-esteem and self-confidence. There’s so many stages to healing. In my 20’s, I found forgiveness in my father because he grew up unloved and never learned how to show love. And I have worked on a lot of my other issues for a long time through therapy, journaling, reading self-help books, and affirmations.
But, I have also learned that our healing and transformative soul growth is like peeling back layers of an onion. There are layers upon layers that we have to address, heal, and pull them away each time we get triggered. So, this last healing I did really showed me how I still get affected when I’m “rejected”.
I learned that when I’m “rejected” today, I either get upset/angry or I withdraw from that person and stay away from them. When I became aware of what I do in response to the trigger, and the root cause of why rejection hurts me so much, i.e. childhood wounds from my father, I am able to understand my response and change my thoughts.
Now I am able to not take things personally. My value, self-worth, and deservingness has nothing to do with external events or occurrences. When I have that self-instilled self-worth, then I can’t be triggered by rejection anymore. And this practice can apply to any type of fear you may have.
We are all human and we all hurt when we are triggered by our fears, that is a fact, but when we realize where the original source stems from, we can let go easier, and heal quicker.
Our self-worth and value in life, our existence on this planet matters because we are alive. We lose that inherent gift bestowed upon us because childhood experiences make us feel less than, and we carry that baggage with us into adulthood.
But when we can drop the weight and change our thoughts, change the way we see ourselves, and hold ourselves in the highest of lights, we can heal. We can transform. We can grow.
We can reclaim our power.
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