Everything Stems from Self-Confidence

"Plant the seeds of self-confidence today and watch it grow in your soul tomorrow."- S.B.

If you really want to know yourself, speak your truth, and find your life purpose or calling, you need to go deep within your soul and work your way outward and upward. You need to have self-confidence to carry your goals and desires to their full potential. And you must never give up!

Clearly the metaphor I have in my mind is the way you would plant and cultivate a flower in a beautiful garden. Your journey starts with you! You planting that seed of self-confidence, nourishing it, and watching it grow.

I didn’t find my calling overnight. I had to break barriers and clear emotional blocks. This dream of being a writer has been buried in the dirt of my soul for years. My most vivid memory was in high school, telling my mom that I was going to be a published author ‘one day’. One day. Not now. Not after college, but one day. Why is that? Why do we put off the things that matter to us the most to a future date that is more uncertain than certain?

I think I deferred my dream for many reasons. I thought of it as something too intangible or not concrete in my mind as a career path. I had a linear way of thinking when it came to stereotypical career choices. I wasn’t thinking bigger because maybe society or even myself didn’t really grasp the notion that you could have a secure job and stable income as a writer. I lacked the confidence in myself and the profession.

Even when I decided to go to law school, I thought I’d write opinions (I thought of being a judge too) and that’s how I’ll be published. And when I became a teacher, I used to tell everyone that I will become a writer when I retire from teaching. I will write my books at the END of my career, as if it was last on my list of priorities, even though in my heart and soul, it had always been my BIGGEST priority. I dimmed my light because I didn't believe.

Whenever I would think about being a writer, I would get excited, as if it was this big secret dream I couldn’t tell people about or it wouldn’t come true, kind of dream. I used to vision myself on Oprah talking about my book, and at times as a teacher because somehow I was going to get on Oprah’s show and be interviewed by her!

Yet, I hid my dream of being a writer because I was scared. Scared that I wouldn’t be able to make a living from it or be successful at it since everyone says, “it’s so hard getting published” “it’s impossible to make it with so many writers out there” or “what makes you special?” There is a lot of pessimism out there that can cause us to diminish our growth and confidence in our dreams. The key element is not listening to the negative talk in the world, and in our minds.

Even last summer, I hired a career coach to help me navigate the next phase in my professional life, and he asked me what I would do for a living if money wasn’t an issue. And immediately, I blurted out, “Be a writer!” And it was like letting out the air in a balloon because I felt free and happy at the thought. But, I didn’t listen to my inner voice and I got stuck in the limiting belief that I couldn't make a successful career out of being a writer. I questioned my skill, I doubted my ability. I didn’t believe in myself. I didn’t believe my talent was enough to “make it” in the real world.

I knew I had things to share, and wisdom to impart over the many years of personal and professional struggle, but it wasn’t until these last 6 months did I really gain the self-confidence and absolute courage to go forward with my dream.

How did this happen? I had to go within. I had to believe in myself. Over the years, I have been cracked open many times. I fell apart with every heartbreak and professional loss, burned in the flames, and was forced to reconstruct and rebuild over again in my life. And with each setback, I grew stronger and stronger.

I read self-help books, hired mentors and coaches, took free classes, journaled, meditated daily, and consistently put the work in to better myself from the inside out. I had to shift my mindset from one of fear and doubt to one of positivity and certainty. You need to tend to the garden within your soul and nourish it with love and hope, just like you would that wilting flower on your patio that is struggling to stay upright.

We all have the power within us to manifest what we want in life. I truly believe that now. But we will never get there if we don’t believe in ourselves, trust ourselves, and our work. We need confidence, a positive mindset, and perseverance.

So ask yourself: what are you deferring in life because of the million excuses in your logical mind? What are you putting off that could be accomplished today? Because whatever the excuses are they are most likely rooted in fear, doubt or timing.

Write down what you want and be honest with yourself. It doesn’t matter whether your dreams or goals are within arms’ reach because it doesn’t matter HOW it’s going to happen. You just first have to believe it WILL happen. It starts with that seed of self-confidence.

So do not dream small. Dream big! The only thing preventing you from reaching your dreams and goals is your limiting beliefs.

I can’t wait to share more of my personal experiences with you about shifting to a positive mindset in the weeks to come! Stay tuned!

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